where does the pee come out of this thing
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
