We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
last night I used snow as a chaser
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
