Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
