i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
do herpes really smell.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
