***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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