She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
