Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
