So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
