there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
A bitchslap is in order.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
