i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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