ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
