Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
