How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
