That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
