im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
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