Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
