I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
