You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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