You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
