hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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