literally had 100 drinks last night.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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