why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
