Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize