I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
