And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
