Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
