Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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