Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
