It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
