so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Randomize
