i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
