just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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