the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
