it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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