She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
