i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
