Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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