5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Dick very happy bro
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
