The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
