Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
