She is in my trunk
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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