Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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