every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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