I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
