Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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