oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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