no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
