u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
