I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
