Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
