Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
